Russyan policeman: "Comrade Ivaninka, are you wearing lipstick in colors of yellow and blue?"
Ivanika: "Why, yes, comrade Boris FSB person. Do you like how my lips look today?".
FSB operative: "Ivaninka, this is a gross violation of national security laws and you have caused disrespect for our military personnel operating in the Mother Country's "special operation" in the former Ukrainian breakaway land we now are returning to the Mother Country as is our destiny as children of the ancient Rus tribal nation(s). As a result of your disrespect, you are under arrest. Do not resist; you will now go with me to jail where you will be subjected to the honesty and law of our hugely successful legal system that is the envy of the civilized world outside of the Mother Country, which I remind you is the largest country in the world. Your wrists, please. Cuffs Ok?
Ivaninka:" Would it make a difference if I used a different shade of blue?".
FSB lackey: "Not my concern. Tell it to the judge".
Ivaninka: "How about 20 rubles?" and we can forget the whole incident?".
FSB turd: "Don't complicate the issue here, comrade and fellow Russyan". It's not becoming at all. I'm just doing my job, but you are very attractive and I'm unattached. Maybe, after the trial and you pay the fine, we could go dancing or clubbing if that's sounds like fun?.
Ivaninka: "Are you hitting on me, or just making conversation?
FSB lackey: "If you persist in using western psychology on me, it could affect the amount of the fine. Here's my cell phone number, call me from prison, why don't you. I have a nice apartment near the river with a great view, large screen flat TV and I'm tuned in to some great streaming services that show many. many western shows. I also have imported wines from California where I have many friends in the wine country-Napa/Sonoma. Ok?.
Ivaninka: "What's your real name, Comrade?
FSB turd: Oleg.
Ivaninka: "Shove it, you vodka swilling dirt bag".
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