PLA Computers Go Dark

       Shocking news out of Beijing: TikTok monitors who focus on the USA reported to their superiors that the internet feeds to them have gone dark. Admin types who are responsible for oversight gathered to discuss the situation. They in turn reported up the chain of command that something was very very wrong. Not wishing to run afoul of leadership, the techies soon descended on the electrical systems to find the root of the problem.

     They worked non stop through the night Sunday/Monday(it's Monday in Beijing). All systems appeared to be in good order. No failures detected. Superiors ordered more testing. Alternative power sources were brought in; generators backing things up were turned on and switches were activated to alternative sources. Still: only darkness from the USA.

    One brilliant monitor techie mentioned "Trump". He was immediately honored as the smartest man in the room. His supervisor put his name in for recognition. Then another mentioned Christie Noem as a new cabinet  member. He was named as second most brilliant monitor and given several Starbuck's gift cards. A third techie mentioned the TikTok COO as the leader of the effort to keep the feed up and running as he did under the last threat under #45. He was recognized and given a new EV Made in China. Free charging for 5 years.

      Then just before the sun came up this morning, the custodian came in and mentioned that #47 would take over today and the SCOTUS declared that Congress could pull the plug on the app for the entire USA(joining several European nations). He was given a promotion immediately that included a new apartment with a deck overlooking Shanghai, an EV(new), a vacation voucher to Hainan Island beachfront hotel, a gift card to Starbucks for the year, a new laptop and an iphone(or equivalent), and the names of several young local women looking for husbands who want to start a family and have 3+ children right away.

      So, the American market and influencers there in will have to watch football today. Some will talk with their parents for the first time in years. Some will remember they have children they haven't talked with for 5 years. Some will get depressed and go to dating sites to find a lonely ex-TikTok-er. Some will go to church. Some will see the sun rise and set. Some will play chess. Some will learn to play the piano. Some will read a book(just kidding: they don't know what books are for anyway).

    Some will realize that Biden left the White House after 4 years of living in the dreamtime. Some may remember they are illegally present in the USA and pack their bags before ICE descends on their apartment. Hmmmm. Changes are coming, children. Don't forget to go to class tomorrow. And stop the crying. There's no crying in baseball or the internet app(s).