Good News: THE CITIZENS OF MARIUPOL have been given permission to evacuate their homes by the Russyan army invaders. You know, their northern cousins👾👺👹💩👪! the speech:
Honest citizens of Mariupol; we have decided to allow all who remain, especially those without food or water, to leave their hiding places and flee to other parts of the country or wherever you can find food and water and have a reasonable possibility of survival. We are only following orders from Mad Vlad and his General Gerasimov. So, pack your meager belongings and head for wherever, we will not shell your positions, we will not send rockets after you, we will not line up machine guns to harass your movements despite what you may have heard from the decadent Westerners like Macron, Johnson, and the evil doer himself, Joe Biden. And, not to worry, we will keep our tactical nukes in the cupboard. Haha! Our heroic boys of Mother Russya know how to conduct ourselves. No raping of helpless women; no beating of old men, no kidnapping of your precious babies, we are Russyan, like you.
So, enjoy your evacuation. Please note: there's a time limit on are largesse: the door will remain open for 72 hours; I repeat: 72 hours only, then, all hell will greak loose as we level this city so we can start building again. We are builders , not destroyers.
Hail the Motherland, Viva Russya.
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