What 5 things Did I Do Last Week at My Job

Joining with millions of workers, I listed 5 things here that I accomplished: 1. Arrived at office fully dressed. 50 points 2. Greeted all office staff with appropriate salutations. 50 points 3. Moved bowels appropriately in room identified as a Men's restroom, not all gender, transgender, or gender neutral. 100 points 4. Answered multiple inquiries from 2 clients interested in advertised positions. 75 points 5. Passed wind without causing significant change in CO2 within 2 square miles. 60 points Point Total: 335 points: qualifying for bonus pay of 1.5% annually