Rubles, Rubles, Has Anyone Seen My Rubles

       Well, it's been a rude awakening in Many parts of Russya this week.  Citizens who woke up in the largest country in the world who checked their banking statements online were greeted with shocking news:  their accounts had been frozen and or closed, and denied access to the records of amounts on deposit.  This came when they hardly finished the first cup of coffee/tea/or vodka.
      First thoughts of these individuals went something like this: 1) the bastards can't do this, 2) how will I buy food this week, 3) can I recover anything?, 4) the bastards can't do this, 4) the butt heads in the Kremlin are behind this, 5) I'll call Sergey, 6) I called Sergey, 7) I'm leaving this place for good, 8) I'm going to live in London, 8) Vova is a fake Russyan, 9) the bastards can't do this, 10) Medvedev wouldn't allow this to happen, 11) Wait, he's Prime Minister-he must have approved the move, 12) Wait, Mad Vlad doesn't need his approval at all, 13) the FSB engineered this theft, 14) Lavrov is Behind this, 15) Can I borrow money from Dad?, 16) I know some MOldavans, they'll lend me something until I get a lawyer, 17) Wait, I can't trust anybody-the FSB won't let me borrow toilet paper let alone cash., 18) I'm moving to London, Brexit be damned, BoJo be damned, 19) Why am I upset?  Isn't this normal batshit for Russyans?, Of course., 20) Calm down, have a shot of vodka-that's better.  Breathe slowly, deeply-think of Sharapova in a miniskirt-that's it.  Who cares about rubles anyway?  Wallpaper, that's all rubles are good for.  Besides, I'm moving to London.