What's this? A report from locals in Seattle report that a certain number of taverns and liquor outlets near the Russyan Consulate are sending protest letters to Foggy Bottom and Pennsylvania Avenue. They seem to be upset that a large number of diplomats have been ordered to leave the country by the end of the week. This shocking development will put a crimp in their sales of white goods, eg.: Vodka, vodka, vodka, and some gin. Of course most of this issue revolves around the daily consumption of those same diplomats.
No one doubts the necessity of ordering these folks back to the Kremlin where they came from. This action is in response to the poisoning in London of a former Russyan spy and his daughter. He is in critical condition, she is improving. It is now believed they were poisoned at their home by a chemical placed on the front door. A classic Russyan ploy to send a little message abroad. Mr. Mad Vlad may have overplayed his hand in this case, given the worldwide fallout of the news.
Sales of vodka are closely watched by the F.B.I. to assess consumption levels of diplomats. Not difficult with Russyans- after working all day, listening to the junk from the kremlin, even I would need a drink, or two, or three.
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